Hi, my name is Sofia and I have been training my parents for over four years. Teaching my mom and dad is a lot of work, but I have also learned tons of good stuff along the way. I feel there are many children who could benefit from my wisdom. I am here today to share some of this knowledge with kids who are in desperate need of my assistance. By following my three simple steps, you too can become the King or Queen of your castle!

Step 1: It wasn’t me.

My dad mentioned some story that I didn’t pay much attention to about a tree and some woods, but that’s not important right now. The most important thing you can remember is if they didn’t see you do it, you can blame your brother. Proceed with caution! When using this important skill to get out of unrolling toilet paper all over the bathroom floor or dropping a bowl of Cheerios on the rug, be sure the intended offender is not within your parental unit’s direct line of sight. If there is reasonable doubt you should succeed, however, if your brother is having his diaper changed at the time of the offense your plan could severely backfire.

Step 2: I am right, and you are wrong.

Adults will try and correct you from time to time. They will try and tell you some silly nonsense such as the sky is blue not green, or fire is hot not cold. I just laugh and tell them, “I am right and you are wrong.” They may try to further explain their incredibly wrong ideas and claim to have greater knowledge power just because they are older. I find that if you stick to your point and just keep telling them over and over that they are wrong, they will eventually get frustrated and drop the subject. This will leave you with one last opportunity to say, “See, I told you I was right.”

Step 3: I WAS right, and you WERE wrong.

Parents mess up A LOT. It is important to remind them when they make mistakes as often as possible. That way they will remember not to do it again in the future. I make sure I remind my mom all the time about when she forgot to send my hat and gloves to school leaving me cold on the playground. I also mention that time she forgot to send my baby pictures to school and I was the only one who did not have them for show and tell. This past week I have made a point to remind her whenever possible of that time last weekend when I said my tummy hurt in the middle of the night; she didn’t believe me and an hour later I threw up all over my bed. I TOLD HER my tummy hurt. That’s why I threw up. I was right, and she was wrong.

Another good tip: make sure you remind your brother of when your parents were wrong. He needs to know about these things too. My favorite time of day to remind him is in the morning in his bedroom when everyone else is still in bed. That way Mom and Dad can hear over the monitor as well, and be reminded all about when they were wrong. I hear this is called multi-tasking, and I am great at it.

Remember, practice makes perfect! Try working on your skills in front of the mirror. I find it very motivational. Join me next time when we discuss complex ways of framing your brother and effective methods for stalling at bedtime to help you stay up late. This is Sofia, I am four years old and I am Queen of my castle.

My daughter has put me on verbal warning. I have one week to get my act together.

Now that she is in preschool, I’ve been a getting a lot of homework assignments from Sofia’s teachers. I have to pay attention more often to the monthly newsletters that come out with special days the kids need to bring in items for show and tell, a trip to the mailbox, fieldtrip money, etc. Back in the toddler classes I used to receive multiple reminders leading up to special days that required my involvement. As my child is growing up, it would appear her teachers are expecting me to grow up as well. That one notification I received that she needs to wear black and white on a Tuesday two weeks from now; that’s the only reminder I’m going to get.

Last Friday was “Baby Picture Day”. Each child was supposed to have brought in a picture from when they were an infant. The class was then going to enjoy the morning looking at the pictures, guessing which friends they were viewing, and discussing how much their bodies have changed. I saw it on the newsletter. I even made a verbal reference to my husband that I needed to dig out a photo, grimacing to myself that most of the really good ones were on the computer. I meant to do it. Friday came and went, as did my memory of the responsibility I had for that morning.

I never heard boo from her teacher. It wasn’t until two nights ago that anything was said. Sofia approached me with, intentional or not, a well thought out guilt trip. My daughter looked me straight in the eyes with her mouth set in a perfect pout beyond her years and stated, “Mama, everyone had a picture of themselves for baby picture day. Everyone but me.”

Parent. FAIL.

All at once the memory of my “to do” came flooding back to me as I cursed under my breath. Feeling terrible that I had let her down, I stammered apologies at her and explained that I simply forgot. My next act seemed perfectly rational at the time but in hindsight has left me seriously questioning my home organizational skills. I actually asked my four year old child to tell me when I need to send something in to school for her on special class days. One might argue that I am providing my child with a solid foundation of grade school preparation, aimed at taking responsibility for her own homework. One might also argue that I’m setting a fairly poor example if I can’t remember to send a picture in on a designated day with plenty of advance notice. Is it really so difficult to post the monthly newsletter on the refrigerator, actually read it, and mark on the calendar such special days when I, the parent, am tasked with providing assistance?

Regardless she agreed to let me know, and sure enough she did it. The next day before bed she reminded me that the following day was pajama day and she needed to wear them to school. I didn’t believe her at first. I didn’t recall seeing anything about a pajama day in the newsletter. I searched through my pile of incoming mail and paperwork that is still sitting on my table just begging to be sorted, eventually found the newsletter, and marveled that she was correct. This was no surprise to her as she expressed to me in point of fact, “I was right and you were wrong.” I couldn’t argue with her there; I would have messed up again.

I need to better my game. I do not want to disappoint her again for something this simple, and I am fairly certain the next step is written warning. Knowing my child she will draw up a developmental action plan in the form of a pictogram, showing Mommy posting and reading the newsletter on the refrigerator. I expect that I will need to sign it in crayon to document my agreement to improve.

Last weekend nine high school boys from my local area apparently got bored towards the end of their February vacation, went onto the internet, learned how to go about making a chemical bomb out of a soda bottle, and then proceeded to do so.  They then allegedly drove around and placed one in a random mailbox and another in the driveway of a fellow student, which wound up under a car on that property.  They both detonated, causing considerable damage to the mailbox, and minimal damage to the underside of the car.  They were caught, they were arrested, and they now face criminal charges, the most serious of which is possession of an infernal machine which carries a sentence of up to 10 years in prison or a $1000 fine. 

The students, all of which have an otherwise clean record and many of which are 18, received a 7:30 curfew pending case review next month and face disciplinary action at school.  The boys admitted to the police that they did this, but stated that it was a practical joke with no intention of causing harm.  There is no denying that they were lucky.  The exact chemical makeup within the soda bottles has not been disclosed, however, the fact that the explosion had enough force to severely damage the mailbox is enough proof that someone could easily have gotten hurt.

Naturally the comments on the online newspapers have gone rabid.  Some take the stance these boys committed acts of terrorism, and in the face of a post 9/11 world there should be zero tolerance for their actions.  Others take the stance that these are good kids, from good families, who have never committed a previous crime.  They state that though the boys made a very bad decision no one was hurt, and while they should be held accountable they should not be sent to prison for what could have happened.

So let’s think about this.  Think back to when you were 18, or if you have teenage children consider them.  If you made this stupid, stupid mistake, would you support a maximum sentence if you or your child had committed this act?  And think about if it was your mailbox, or your car.  Would your stance be that these boys should go to prison for the destruction of your property or for the possibility that you could have been harmed?

If convicted, do these boys need to be punished?  I believe absolutely yes, they do.  Should prison be their sentence?  Will they come out better citizens, making a positive contribution to society if their college education (some of which I hear have scholarships that could be lost) is delayed, possibly even permanently?  I do not pretend to know enough about the inside walls of our correctional institutions beyond the one semester I took of criminal psychology, but I do feel I know enough to say that these boys would be drastically changed, and it will not for the better.  This one horribly misguided evening will not end their lives, but if they are sent to prison for an extended period of time, it could very well lead them to a path of further destruction.  And please let me clarify, I do not hold this opinion because they are considered otherwise “good kids from good families”; I say this for any first time teenage offender who just made the biggest mistake of his life.

I’m sure I would have a different opinion if someone was hurt, or worse if their actions had taken a life.  And I’m sure some would argue, what’s to stop the next group of kids from doing the same thing if these boys get off so lightly?  There are others who would say these are not boys.  These are 17 and 18 year olds on the brink of manhood, and it’s time to start acting like adults.  These are all valid points.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if these boys, as part of a hefty community service requirement (and fines for the destruction of property), were to speak out in public to other teens to discuss their mistakes, how they almost lost everything, and what they have learned as a result?  I hope that the judge responsible for deciding the fate of these boys will consider not only the crime and the risk to the well being of themselves and others, but also the actual result of the damage.  Not just the destruction of property that took place, but also the future of the nine lives at stake. 

This is my opinion.  I would love to hear yours.

 There is always one common theme, one consistent sentiment that is shared with me by parents of older children when it comes to rearing little ones.  Enjoy this time. Savor these moments. Stop what you are doing and remember how they are right now; how their tiny hands curl in yours when you are walking together, how their little arms wrap around you in surprisingly tight grasps when they hug you, how they nuzzle their soft cheeks against your neck when you carry them off to bed, how their sweet voices sound when they chirp, “I love you Mama”.

There are days, there too many days when we move through the routine of our lives without even noticing that with each passing hour they are growing.  Rise, clean, dress, breakfast, lunch prep, clean, carpool, home, dinner, clean, baths, clean, bedtime, stories, sleep.  Mixed within are many silly moments together during those few hours we have before work and in the evenings before bed, but there are also so many hectic moments where I find myself scrambling them from one must-do task to the next.  How limited our time together feels.  It seems as though I blinked and my little girl is four and telling me on a daily basis that she is right and I am wrong; already so certain that she knows more about the world than I ever will.  Somewhere along the way I turned, and my two year old son found his words and began to tell me about his day.  Soon he will not be as keen to snuggle with me in our quiet mommy/son moments.  Soon like my daughter he will want to walk on his own, content to stray away from his mother’s grasp.  I did not realize until recently when he insisted on walking up the stairs to bed instead of resting heavily in my arms, how very much I am beginning to grieve the passage of time.  I did not realize until that moment how much I need to carry him, and to my dismay how it is oh so much more than he needs to be carried.  With eyes stinging and a lump in my throat, I followed behind him with arms at the ready up every cautious step. 

I have been putting off a certain rite of passage with regards to my son.  While he is quite capable drinking from a cup, I have fallen a bit behind schedule when it comes to weaning him off the bottle.  His older sister was easy.  I just stopped giving it to her and she barely batted an eye.  There was no emotional investment for her or a need to continue using it.  My son is a bit different.  He loves his “ba-ba”.  We’ve tried a few times to deny him and put his milk in a cup instead, and the result was the very few instances that he has ever thrown a tantrum.  He is one very easy going little dude, except when he is hungry and except when he wants his bottle. 

So why not push through it like we did sleep training for both children, or potty training for my daughter?  Why not stand our ground and as my husband and I jokingly refer to it, “get him off the sauce”?  He is ready. He is already biting holes in the nipples with his strong and full set of teeth.  I am sure if we stuck to our guns that within a few weeks he would accept our decision to take the bottle away.  I am sure if we can deal with the tearful protests he would get over it, and eventually even forget about it.  I know the problem is with me.  I know I am not ready for him to let go of that one last action that truly defines him as a baby. 

 I never fully understood until now what it meant when someone was referred to, like I was, as the baby of the family.  He is my last, and will never, ever stop being my baby. I can foresee many times ahead where I will struggle to let go, every step in his life taking him further and further away from my reach.  How will I handle it when I am no longer the most important person in his world?  I do not know that answer, but here’s hoping it will be therapy free for both parties.

When I shared with my younglings that we would be attending a new Feld Entertainment production of Disney On Ice for Valentine’s Day, there was a great deal of excitement around these parts.  Both kids broke into their own little happy dance accompanied by exuberant chanting of “Disney On Ice!!! Disney On Ice!!! Disney On Ice!!!”  They knew that a good time would be had by all, and they were right.

What I love about the Disney On Ice productions is that every time we go there are different themes, sightings of new and older yet endearing characters, and varying compilations of our most beloved Disney songs.  Listening to my daughter sing at the top of her lungs while waving to her favorite princesses is simply priceless.  Looking at this face, there’s no denying the joy:

In this Production of Disney On Ice: Let’s Celebrate! there were indeed visits from just about all the princesses.  It was a treat to see their newest addition Tiana, along with music from Princess and the Frog.  While my daughter may have enjoyed the princesses most, the holiday celebration that was the theme of this show brought us some interesting characters.  Alice and Wonderland, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Toy Story all made appearances.  Of course Mickey and Minnie were the stars with their Club House friends, but we also got a taste of some rarely seen foes, including Maleficent and Cruella De Vil.  Sofia pointed and screamed out each name as they positioned themselves front and center.  My favorite scene however, was the celebration of Valentine’s Day in which the princesses skated with their partners to That’s How You Know from Enchanted.  

If you live in the Southern New England area and are looking for some family fun this February vacation, I highly recommend the show.

TD Garden – FEB. 12 – 21

SCHOOL VACATION WEEK!

Disney On Ice presents Let’s Celebrate! It’s one colossal party on ice, with all your favorite Disney friends!  Join Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse as they celebrate a Very Merry Unbirthday Party with Alice and the Mad Hatter; a Royal Valentine’s Day Ball with the Disney Princesses, including Cinderella, Ariel and Tiana; a Hawaiian luau with Lilo & Stitch; a winter wonderland with Woody and Buzz Lightyear from Disney/Pixar’s Toy Story; a Halloween haunt with the Disney Villains and more in a magical medley of holidays, celebrations and festivals from around the globe.  Come join the party when this spectacular ice show visits your hometown! 

A SPECIAL OFFER FOR YOU!

Purchase a 4-pack of tickets for only $44 for weekday shows, or receive $4 off weekend tickets by logging onto www.ticketmaster.com and entering the promotional code: MOM.*

TD Garden show dates:

Friday, February 12 – 7pm**

Saturday, February 13 11am and 3pm

Sunday, February 14 12NOON and 4pm

Monday, February 15 – 11am and 3pm

Tuesday, February 16 – no shows

Wednesday, February 17 – 1pm

Thursday, February 18 – 11am and 3pm

Friday, February 19 – 1pm and 7pm

Saturday, February 20 – 11am and 3pm

Sunday, February 21 – 12NOON and 4pm

*Get 4 tickets for $44 Monday-Friday matinee or $4 off weekend Friday evening – Sunday. Use promo code “MOM” at time of purchase by phone 1-800-745-3000 or visit www.ticketmaster.com.  Minimum purchase of 4 tickets required; additional tickets above 4 can be purchased at $11 each. Offer not valid on Front Row, VIP or CLUB seats. Cannot be combined with other offers. Additional service charges, facility fee, & handling fees will apply.

**Friday, February 12th 7pm performance is our Opening Night performance and all Tickets are $15 (no code required and excluding Front Row, VIP and CLUB seating)!!!