It is likely ill advised to complete my annual New Year’s Quiz and yearly recap while suffering a head cold and a brain crippling NyQuil hangover, but alas, it is time. The year 2011 is coming to a close; am I the only one who feels as though it was gone in a blink?

OK, so here are the previous years if you are actually that interested in my life: 2010; 2009; 2008

And as always, be sure to hop on over and see Linda at All & Sundry, who has been doing this for much longer than me.

And now we get down to it:

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

This feels so much less about me, but then again isn’t being a parent of young children all about not being about you? I watched my little girl start her first day of kindergarten this year as she marched head high into a building of strangers without even once looking back.

We finally, WOO HOO FINALLY, potty trained the boy. That was the biggest, most unexpectedly long pain in the ass (pun intended) task that ever was, and it took pretty much all of 2011 to accomplish.

Oh, I did go to my high school 20th reunion, which I didn’t talk about here on the blog, but was a truly rewarding experience. The result was that I have rekindled some lovely friendships and made new ones as well.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I had to go back and look at my last year’s quiz to find out if I made a resolution, only to find out that I promised myself I would become more organized. I also mentioned that I forgot to bring my kid’s lunches to school two days in a row this time last year. Now, just last month I only forgot to bring my kid’s lunch to school ONCE! So that’s like, a 50% improvement! GO ME!!! Guess I’ll be sticking with the same resolution for 2012, or perhaps I’ll just make it a little more generic and promise myself to suck less.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, I have two new second-cousins that have joined our ranks. Welcome to the world, little ones.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

2011 brought good fortune for our family, but I have friends who lost dear ones. I hope this year brings health and peace for us all.

5. What countries did you visit?

There were times where I could have sworn I’d traveled to the depths of Morhdorh, but my feet have in fact been firmly planted in the good ole US of A.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Last year I wanted a Droid, and I am happy to report that my situation improved beyond my wildest dreams when Tony bought me an iPhone for Mother’s Day. Yay for Moms! Yay for technology! Yay for me!!!

This year I’d like to step away from the gadgetry and focus more on myself. I would like to find more motivation towards improved health. I am not overweight, but I am not exactly in shape either. I know how the process goes, a more active me is a healthier me; is a more energetic, happier, less tired, and more patient me. So I’d like to find me some more of that.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

December 6, 2011. I saw Tori Amos in concert at the Orpheum Theater in Boston, and wept like a baby pretty much from her first to last song. I don’t know how many more opportunities in this life I will have to see her play again, so I cherished every moment of it.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I just don’t really see this as a year of accomplishments for me. I feel as though this year of my life has been very stagnant in terms of my own growth; I have been so focused on the development of my little ones. And yet, are not their accomplishments in part some evidence of my own? If I am raising two well rounded, caring and respectful children, do I not have cause to pat myself on the back just a little?

9. What was your biggest failure?

For every parenting moment I have to pat myself on the back, there is a slip of the tongue, a screech of the owl, a dark and cold well of patience that has been exhausted of every last drop and yet somehow filled with the echo of my own angry words; words I can never take back. I am sorry, my little ones. Oh, how I do try to be a better mom.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Does this insufferable head cold count? Otherwise, Lady Fortuna has smiled upon me.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Our digital piano; I love having a piano in my home, and watching my six year old practice her lessons is like a 32 year flashback. Awesome.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Daycare, mortgage and car payments, oh my!!!

13. What did you get really excited about?

Seeing Tori, attending my high school reunion, and buying our piano.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Although it has no personal connection with me, that Adele song Someone Like You, because it was playing on the radio every frakking time I turned it on.

15. Compared to last year, are you:

happier or sadder? Happier. Last winter was dark, very dark for me. I have a feeling the improved weather is a huge factor, but I don’t feel like I’m teetering the same downward spiral that was threatening me last year. 

thinner or fatter? Thinner! I’ve actually managed to, uh, manage myself pretty well these past few months.

richer or poorer? That’s a tough question to answer right after the holidays, but I would say we are better off compared to last year.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing! I’ve been a total slacker these many months. Part of it is a struggle with privacy. When my six year old starts saying things like, “Don’t Facebook or blog this!” I must comply.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying, over-analyzing everything, questioning everything after I have finished over-analyzing everything, and then worrying about all the worrying I did about over-analyzing everything.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

This Christmas was bittersweet. We were only 11 people instead of our usual 20-25 people crew. We missed our extended family, but it was cozy and quaint at my table this year. It was a nice and relaxing day with loved ones.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

Oh, I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens! Seriously, that is a tough one because I watch way too much TV and love far too many shows. But I think the one that I most looked forward to without disappointment was Dexter; Sons of Anarchy coming in at a close second.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

I’m probably going to make a sad showing of picking the same book as most teens across America, but I just stumbled upon The Hunger Games trilogy this summer and I basically read all three books in five days with minimal sleep. I had some issues with the character development of the third book but otherwise it was a boatload of awesome.

21. what was your favorite music from this year?

I’m a total loser when it comes to new music, which basically means that I barely listen to it. Now that I have my snappy new phone with a built in ipod I have been loving iTunes. Instead of listening to the fantastic new stuff I am sure is out there, however, I have been reclaiming my long lost Suzanne Vega albums, circa 1985-1987. I know. I’m cool.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

Breaking Dawn. Ha! Kidding. Although I did see it in the theater and I do have to say that it was simultaneously so good and SO VERY BAD. Super 8 was pretty good, and of course the finale of Harry Potter. And that’s pretty much all that I remember.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 38 this year, and while I admit that it took me a good 15 minutes to remember what I did on my birthday 4 months ago, I can proudly say that I do in fact recall! Tony was home sick with pneumonia, so I escaped to dinner for a few hours with the kids and some dear friends. It was not ideal without the hubby there, but it was still a nice way to spend the day.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I’m trying not to be a grass is greener kind of person. There are many things I could say that would make life more satisfying, but immeasurably so? To eat all the nachos I want and never gain a pound? Well, I suppose then I would just get sick of nachos, and that would suck.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

I love it when it gets colder and I can show up at school drop off and pick up in a skull cap, sweatshirt, slippers, and multi-colored slipper socks. In related news, I seem to have no shame.

26. What kept you sane?

Singing, dancing, laughing, crying, beer, and of course my husband who keeps me grounded whenever I am leaning too far over the side of the deep end.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

You never fully appreciate things until they are gone; like the ultra sweet silence that was the NBA lockout. Bollocks.

Even though I haven’t been at it as much as I would like, it’s been another great year of blogging. If you’ve been following along and you’ve actually stuck with me this far, thank you! I wish you a Happy New Year filled with good health and prosperity.

Brace yourselves, a new epidemic is upon us, and you could be next. Each night, all across the country moms and dads can be found holding a tiny red dude and muttering to themselves, “No, I did that already…that won’t work…why won’t it stay up…I can’t use tape, they’d know if I used tape…”

Yes, it is a sad truth that Creative Elf Syndrome (CES) is taking the nation by storm, and once you have allowed yourself to become afflicted, there is no turning back. You are done for.

I used to be one of those moms who didn’t know any better. It was an elf, it sat on a shelf. It was happy to move from one ledge to another each night, and that would be on the nights it actually remembered to move. The children thought it was great, but on the nights it didn’t move, oh the guilt I experienced in seeing the disappointment in their eyes the next morning. It was a giant crock o’ FAIL.

This year I vowed to be better, to make it special. I had no idea that I was falling down a very slippery slope.

Our elf comes out the first night the tree is up on the weekend after Thanksgiving,  which is where he makes his very first appearance, and is on the job all the way through Christmas Eve. From there he moves about from shelf to curtain rod, from room to room. The first thing my six year old daughter does each morning is rush downstairs to find the elf. She runs throughout the house scouting his location. When one morning she said, “Oh, he’s on the window like last year”, I knew I had to step up my game. Not to mention that her friends in kindergarten all have a little recess-time powwow to discuss what their elves did last night.

I could no longer stand idly by and allow her only contribution to that conversation to be, “He was on the bookshelf. Again.”

So the next morning he pulled something rather mischievous and was found holding the Wii Band Hero microphone.

Well, the children crazy loved it! When they brought me over to see him I replied, “I thought I heard someone singing last night!” Their eyes grew wide as they stared open-mouthed at the tiny elf.

And that was the moment right there when I became infected. That was when visions of green and red color-coded spreadsheets outlining the brilliant things I would do from night to night all the way up through December 24th danced in my head.

Well, the spreadsheet only ever came to pass in my brain, but the next week I did scour the dusty recesses of my mind searching for ideas on what to do next. Each night had to be better than the last! He’s taken a ride on Barbie’s horse, in a helicopter, on a T-Rex, and on a fire truck. He has sat at the piano (“I thought I heard the piano playing overnight!”) and even spent an evening with Belle.

To which Sofia exclaimed, “I bet they got MARRIED!!! I bet the got married ALL!!! NIGHT!!! LONG!!!” Oh, just, oh.

But I was becoming exhausted! Each night after I prepped my coffee and started my climb up the stairs to my bed I would have to stop myself. Oh yeah, the elf. Last night (and if you have succumbed to CES you can definitely relate to this) I made it all the way up to bed before I remembered! You know that feeling when you climb in, fix your blankets, twist and turn until you have found the ultimate comfy position, and then feel yourself sink into the pillow as your mind goes blank and you are drifting, softly drifting…

EYES SNAP WIDE OPEN, SHIT I FORGOT TO MOVE THE ELF!!!

Fucking elf. You then throw back the covers, trudge downstairs, grab the elf, and just stand there in your living room searching your brain for inspiration, coming up empty.

Oh, but we should fear not, for there is help! Unfortunately it comes from people who are much more severely afflicted than I am. There are websites dedicated to elf ideas that range from the basics (look at my elf actually sitting on a shelf!) to the totally outlandish (look at my elf cooking a four course meal!) and mildly disturbing. These people are in desperate need of an elftervention, and of course they don’t have the slightest idea how insane they have become.

Truth be told, these people are a threat to us all and must be stopped. I like to think of myself as hovering somewhere around ELFCON 3. I am creative, I put a lot of pressure on myself to best last night’s elf placement, but I don’t put myself in situations where I will spend an hour cleaning my kitchen of flour dust from making fake elf snow angels, or washing dishes the next night when the elf fails to clean up his mess after baking cookies and cakes.

Back when I sporadically remembered to move the elf, I was happily living at ELFCON 5. Oh, those were the days. These people? And these people? And these people who spend all day on the Elf on the Shelf Facebook page??? They have no hope in sight; ELFCON 1 all the way.

I chastise them all for making life difficult for the rest of us, except for this lovely couple; these people are just plain genius. Feeling inspired, I took a leaf out of their book:

OK, I couldn’t go through with it. I’m already going to be spending enough dough on their future therapy sessions based on this blog alone, never mind adding elf slaughter into the mix.

Ten nights to go, People! Here’s hoping ELFCON 3 will hold. And for those of you enjoying your ELFCON 5 status, remember my cautionary tale whenever you start to feel a twinge of creativity. That bookshelf is indeed a lovely place to be found.

Each weekday morning is the same. It starts with the antagonizing alarm, and continues through the bustle of getting everyone up, dressed, fed, gathered, and out the door. Somehow we manage it all in under an hour and it’s very much like clockwork at this point, but oh so hectic. Ask me an hour later what we talked about as a family and beyond the orders to get dressed and the negotiations over what to have for breakfast, I can hardly recall.

Conversations are rushed and when they veer from necessity are mostly controlled by a six year old force of nature, whose mouth runs from the moment her eyes open until her last good-bye and I love you are hollered as she and her father rush out the door. All morning the little guy desperately tries to keep up but always winds up falling behind, or should I say in step. He even picks the vitamin color she tells him to.

After the door shuts and half of our family has left for the day, it is quiet. That is when he comes to sit by me, and that is when we share a lovely 15 minutes together each day before it is time for him to leave. It is sweet, and it is special, and I never could have foreseen that I would come to cherish this time as much as I do.

Every morning I take him to daycare, but before that we have 15 minutes of quiet time, just the two of us.  We talk about various subjects and I can see it in his eyes that he finally has the time to formulate his thoughts, to truly think about what he wants to share, and to let me know just how much of this world he has come to understand.

My sister and I have five years between us, so even though I am the younger sibling I did not experience what is like to become a shadow. It took sharing these 15 minutes each day to make me realize just how much it is happening to my son, and beyond some bedtime cuddling just how little one on one time he was getting from me.

I cannot tell you how many times in a day I have to tell my older child let her brother speak, to give him the time to come up with the answers. What is 3 + 3? She knows, and it kills her to keep quiet. He knows too; he’s just not as quick yet and never has the time to blurt it out before she rattles off the answer.

This morning we talked about dinosaurs. I could have died from the cute as I watched his brow furrow while he shook his head and told me about how there are no more left; that they died a long time ago. Oh, these 15 minutes, just me and my son. What an interesting and funny little dude he is. Who would have thought this change in schedule that I was so dreading could turn out to be such a blessing?

……………………………………..

In the blink of an eye the end of October came and we were all sick; my house a hopeless infestation of untold viruses. Yet somehow we managed to get through Halloween and still enjoy the little guy’s birthday.

Four years old. Happy Birthday, Little Man. We are so lucky to have you.