A blink, perhaps a flash, and it’s already November. It feels like an old cliché but time, as I remember it from my childhood, even early adulthood, seemed to move so much slower then. I feel now like the weather was just starting to get warmer, only to find all the leaves have fallen with the threat of winter’s blanket nipping at my heels. My son is already a year old. My daughter is on what I hope is the tail end of her Horrible Threes, which has proved itself so much more of a challenge compared to her to terrible twos (well, maybe this is one part that seems to still go by sssssllllllooooowwwwlllllyyyy).
The thought of the holidays just around the corner resonate mixed emotions. Joy of spending them at home with my family; concern over upcoming expenses; nervousness at the agreed upon task to take on 30 people in my house on Xmas day; sadness like a hole in my heart at not enjoying Winter Solstice the way I would like to; denial of the 30+ gifts I need to buy; procrastination of making Xmas lists for family for myself and the kids (Tony’s on his own);, horror over keeping the tornado that breaks out in my house on a daily basis in check enough to avoid running around like a crazy chicken trying to get the house in order for Thanksgiving, our annual adult Xmas party, and Xmas day; paranoia over the questions I know will eventually have to answer when Sofia in all her astuteness starts to ask what Xmas is really all about; excitement over watching Sofia help decorate our tree, and the warmth of watching our son stare in wonderment at the lights.
Rereading this it already looks like I’m developing a sentimental, Bah Humbug attitude. I want the non existant idyllic, perhaps? I strive for order that this crazy little family of 4 may never find. Yet, would I really have it any other way? I’m certain not. Well…maybe less a few tantrums (not mine, I swear) would help. I know very soon it will be 2009, and my toddler will be a preschooler, and my baby will be a toddler. My daily tornado will be unchanged, and all the wonderful stresses of the holiday will eventually be revisited. All in the blink of an eye.