Changes

Over the past month I had heard the story of the little girl in Florida that had vanished from her home in the middle of the night. I really can’t handle stories of that topic, so I have no idea if there was a good or likely bad outcome. I can’t say if it truly was some random person snatching her from her warm bed, while her parents slept in the next room none the wiser, or if it was someone close to her that she trusted that did her harm. Either end, regardless of whether she was found, represents a very real fear that resides within every parent of sound mind: the terror that something bad will happen to their children.

Often the fear lays dormant, a quiet shadow in the background of your day. But like many shadows, every now and then you spy a glimpse of something out of sort, something that shouldn’t be there, and you pay it some mind.

There are many “worse case scenarios” I put in the back of my brain when it comes to the well being of my kids. I am not blind to the thought that any random, horrible thing could happen at any time. When one of these fears creeps into the forefront of my thoughts, I give it a moment, recognize its danger, put it away, and do my best to prevent it. It was just after I was reviewing my last blog post that I had an epiphany. I was not doing everything I should to protect my children.

When I first started my blog, it was somewhat of a whim. One of my girlfriends had started one, and I had always wanted to try it. I had 2 friends that read me on a regular basis, and on occasion maybe my mom. It was an outlet for me as I was just starting to get used to a new phase of motherhood with the addition of my second child. When I created the blog, I paid little mind to the fact that my last name was evident, and the town in which I lived was prominent on my profile. As I wrote about my children and posted their pictures as only any proud mommy would, I blindly laid it all out there.

Hey stranger, here’s my name. Here’s where I live. Here are my kids, their pictures, and their names.

It wasn’t a big deal to me when it was just my two friends and my mom. It wasn’t a big deal to me in regards to the ‘friends’ I had shared my URL with on Facebook. When I added my private stat counter, I realized that I average a modest number of new readers EVERY DAY. Um, huh? Turns out many people read but do not comment. Holy crap, there are a lot of people out there who surf blogs. Heck, I’m one of them. I know, without question, way too much information about one particular family out in Seattle. Go ahead, ask me. I can tell you exactly what they are up to this week. But I know that I am harmless. I can not say the same with certainty about any of the new IP addresses that tap my blog each day.

I had a decision to make. Stop writing? I really didn’t want to be so drastic. I don’t actually think there are dangerous stalkers reading my blog on a daily basis. It is possible to do too much to protect our kids, to the point that we lose something of ourselves and them too. I don’t want something bad to happen to them or to me, but I do want to make sure SOMETHINGS happen. I want us all to experience the joys of life without fear. I think if I were to stop blogging, at this point, I’d lose a part of myself. I did decide not to blog again until I figured something out. It’s been a long couple of weeks.

A little security and discretion was needed. A compromise within me that I could live with was born. A URL change, a name change, and a profile update (total pain in the ass, by the way) have been processed. A little anonymity for peace of mind so that I can continue to do what I love without fear- achieved. Anyone thinking about starting your own blog; think real hard beforehand what you want your name and URL to be. The process of changing it kind of sucks.

So welcome, friends and visitors. I hope you will swing by often and share your thoughts as I figure this whole parenthood thing out. I’m the mom, and this is Mom et al.

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