I remember well the day we decided to have you, because we were at a Bruce Springsteen concert. We had been going over and over in our heads whether or not to have children for several years. During the tailgate I voiced out loud for the first time that my largest con, and biggest fear, was that I just wouldn’t be very good at the whole motherhood thing. In the end, we decided that fear did not outweigh the desire to make our family a reality.
We went through a lot to have you. There were weekly trips to Boston IVF, fertility meds, needles, frustration and tears. I’ll never forget the day I sat there for 20 minutes trying to inject a needle into my own abdomen. Even with the promise of you, and the screaming in my head that it was simply mind over matter, I just couldn’t get my hand to take the plunge. We were lucky though, it wasn’t long before you were on your way.
You came two weeks early; a week before my scheduled c-section. As I lay in the hospital and was prepped for surgery, the awesome truth that you were coming became so overwhelming I openly sobbed in fear. But then, less than 45 minutes later, you were here. And you knew me as well as I my heart knew you.

The first day we took you home, it took us an hour to get out of the hospital because we couldn’t figure out how to work your infant car seat. When we finally made it through our front door, your daddy took a drive to purchase my prescriptions. Truly alone with you for the first time, I just sat there staring at you, still in your seat. Unmoving, I watched you sleep, fully aware of the fact that I didn’t have the slightest idea of what to do next.

Whether it was nature, practice, trial and error, I don’t know, but we found our way. You were a beautiful infant, so happy, and a blissfully heavy sleeper. I prided myself that your ability to sleep through the night by three months of age must have been due to my masterful motherhood skills. Your brother’s inability to sleep through the night until 18 months of age put me straight in my place. We were lucky.
It’s been four years since that first day we met. You’re looking less and less like a baby, or even a toddler. I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but you’ve become a little girl. You’re tall and thin, active, funny, smart, and unbelievably inquisitive. You’re also stubborn, strong willed, challenging, and at times even obstinate. Sometimes we are at war, and it blows me away that I am truly in a struggle of wits with my own small child. There are moments when I think you might actually be winning, and though it drives me crazy, I inwardly applaud your tenacity. Because, there’s no denying it Sweet Pea, you are just like me.
I would be remiss if I didn’t also tell you that you are so very kind, loving, gentle, and a great big sister. You certainly have your moments of jealously or unwillingness to share, but most days you love to play with your little brother, and it is so very clear that he simply adores you.
On this day, this very special day, this one and only day when you turn four, I celebrate every ounce of laughter, tears, sighs, gasps, screams, pride, worry, hope, fear, and immeasurable joy you have brought to our lives.



That day, that concert, that decision that we made…it was the most important and best decision of my life. I am so thankful it brought me to you.

Happy 4th Birthday Sofia.







Truly amazing Maria! This was beautiful! Happy Birthday Sofia!
[Reply]
Yes I am crying… motherhood is sooo, well you just said it for all of us. Thank you for your words.
[Reply]
Beautiful! Happy Birthday, Sofia!
[Reply]
Tears! What a beautiful post. Sofia is a lucky girl to be so loved.
[Reply]
Beautiful….just beautiful! Happy birthday lil girl.
[Reply]
Oh WOW, this is so clever – you have the most gorgeous site here and I had to stop by to leave this comment for you – and to say hello of course ! Your posts are creative and original and you have interesting pictures. It’s all perfect ! Thank you for sharing your site and best wishes….
[Reply]
Happy Birthday Sofia!!!
Maria, that was beautiful. Your little girl so lucky to have you as a mom and role model!!!
[Reply]
Nicely done! I remember that tailgate! You shared your revelation with me over a corona! lol! Very sweet…. Kisses to my curly haired cutie neice.
[Reply]
What a sweet & wonderful post! I will forever be proud of you for over-coming your fear and taking the leap of faith that is motherhood. I will forever be grateful since seeing you do such a wonderful job at being a mother helped convince me to take my own. A Very Happy Birthday and Much Love to Sofia and her excellent Momma!!
[Reply]
Maria, You have made me cry with your lovely and tender words and feelings. You have just given her the most beautiful gift you could give her on her birthday. She will always be able to revisit your beautifully expressed feelings and know how much you love her. I wish I had expressed the same for you at some point in your life (although I never could have articulated it so well). Well done, my daughter.
[Reply]
Great job Squinz
[Reply]
Such a beautiful tribute to your gorgeous daughter. Your post brought me to tears.
[Reply]
What a touching post! I have a little princess, she’s three, twin to an interesting boy. I thought of her as I read your post. She is also just like me.
Your daughter was gorgeous from birth!
[Reply]