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Bullying At Its Worst

“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

As the dust began to settle in the aftermath of the hate group created among some of my peers on Facebook, a friend pointed out something I found rather ironic.  That group, wrought with malice, was created on the birthday observance of Martin Luther King, Jr.  I wondered to myself if the creator of that group understood at all why he was at home that day, enjoying a holiday.

I want to thank everyone who showed support for the woman who was targeted, as well as for the kind words that were extended to me for speaking out against the group.  There was some success.  Friends championed the cause and spread the word; many who did not even know this person did their part to try to make a difference.  The result: the creator left the group, all administrators abandoned their positions, and participation in the group dropped over 15 percent.  Those who joined forces with me rejoiced in this small victory, however it is bitter sweet.  The group is still out there; its members remain over 150 people strong.  Countless individuals have reported the group as a violation of Facebook’s terms of service, yet there is no indication of when, if ever, Facebook administrators will take action to terminate the group. 

Even though we were unable to dismantle the group, I still felt that a sense of awareness to this very important issue was spreading.  I was feeling very positive, until yesterday when I learned about Phoebe Prince.  This beautiful 15 year old girl ended her life on January 14, 2010.  While the reasoning behind her death remains under investigation, the fact that Phoebe was the victim of severe bullying has thus far been uncontested.  There are reports of public conflict between Phoebe and a group of classmates.  Prior to her death there was some disciplinary action taken towards those classmates for their behavior while attending school.  Yet it would appear most of the maltreatment didn’t take place within those walls.  The major outlets that Phoebe’s peers utilized to conduct their harassment were Facebook and text messaging. 

This horrifying example of the worst possible case scenario was exactly my point when I wrote that post.  This isn’t a child that ended her life out of no where, with everyone who knew her left to question and never understand why she did it.  There were signs.  There were so many signs.  Who reached out to help her?  Who stood up and said “this should not be happening”?  Honestly, some may have.  I do not know the details, but it was clearly not enough.  Even after her death people continued to taint her memory by bashing her on her Facebook memorial pages.  This is one poor girl in one Massachusetts town.  We are turning a blind eye if we refuse to acknowledge it is happening elsewhere.  If adults continue to reinforce this behavior through their own actions, how we can expect our children not to follow suit?

Change is needed.  Education begins at home and further structure is needed in our schools.  The State of Massachusetts is stepping up its efforts to produce anti-bullying legislation, a bill that has been put off far too long.  It is a shame that it took what happened to Phoebe for people to realize it requires prioritization.  Yet for all its worth, this bill is targeted at protecting children.  It is up to us as adults to ensure we do not allow cyber bullying to happen amongst ourselves.

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  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=04980708328107406063 Heather

    This breaks my heart. First, I’m here for Friday Follow (You followed my The 24/7 Mom blog and I followed you here, then you so nicely followed my Giveaway Chick blog also – I’m the same person, hope you don’t mind!)

    I’ve written a lot over the years about bullying. My 10 year old son has been a victim of it since kindergarten. He even got jumped off the bus once by 2 boys – the bus lets off right in front of our apartment and I felt safe letting him walk 150 feet to the door, not any more.

    I hate it hate it hate it. It breaks my heart. It’s destroying his self esteem. We just started counseling last week because of how it is affecting him, hoping to teach him how to deal with it, how to react to it, how to not let his self worth be based on those boys, while he’s young, before he decides to do something drastic to escape the bullies. It hurts so much as his mom to watch him hurt like he does. :(

    I am not sure what Facebook group it was, but it sounds horrible and you guys did good! Off to read your post that you linked to here.

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=04980708328107406063 Heather

    This breaks my heart. First, I’m here for Friday Follow (You followed my The 24/7 Mom blog and I followed you here, then you so nicely followed my Giveaway Chick blog also – I’m the same person, hope you don’t mind!)

    I’ve written a lot over the years about bullying. My 10 year old son has been a victim of it since kindergarten. He even got jumped off the bus once by 2 boys – the bus lets off right in front of our apartment and I felt safe letting him walk 150 feet to the door, not any more.

    I hate it hate it hate it. It breaks my heart. It’s destroying his self esteem. We just started counseling last week because of how it is affecting him, hoping to teach him how to deal with it, how to react to it, how to not let his self worth be based on those boys, while he’s young, before he decides to do something drastic to escape the bullies. It hurts so much as his mom to watch him hurt like he does. :(

    I am not sure what Facebook group it was, but it sounds horrible and you guys did good! Off to read your post that you linked to here.

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=01176249504541079836 cassandra aubut

    following from Follow Friday

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=01176249504541079836 cassandra aubut

    following from Follow Friday

  • http://meandcraig.blogspot.com/ Dawn Hild

    Hi,
    Just stopping by to return the Friday Follow favor…
    dawn hild
    http://meandcraig.blogspot.com

  • http://meandcraig.blogspot.com Dawn Hild

    Hi,
    Just stopping by to return the Friday Follow favor…
    dawn hild
    http://meandcraig.blogspot.com

  • http://www.talesfromthesippycup.com/ Tales from the sippy cup

    New Friday Follower!

    Thanks so much for posting this. This is an epidemic that we all must get behind and help put an end to.

  • http://www.talesfromthesippycup.com Tales from the sippy cup

    New Friday Follower!

    Thanks so much for posting this. This is an epidemic that we all must get behind and help put an end to.

  • http://wahmresourcesite.com/ Rondi

    Hello, New follower…stopping by to say hello! Happy Friday Follow!
    .-= Rondi´s last blog ..Organic Home Pest Control Giveaway =-.

  • http://wahmresourcesite.com/ Rondi

    Hello, New follower…stopping by to say hello! Happy Friday Follow!
    .-= Rondi´s last blog ..Organic Home Pest Control Giveaway =-.

  • http://itsajulything.blogspot.com/ Lynn Guinn

    Hello!! It is VERY nice to meet you—and become a follower!
    .-= Lynn Guinn´s last blog ..Some People Avoid Me Like The Plague, But The Brave Remain =-.

  • http://itsajulything.blogspot.com Lynn Guinn

    Hello!! It is VERY nice to meet you—and become a follower!
    .-= Lynn Guinn´s last blog ..Some People Avoid Me Like The Plague, But The Brave Remain =-.

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=01312780356066934476 2 little Boys

    New follower, stopping over from FF. So glad you were able to make a positive impact on that group, sorry you and your friend were going through that at all, you would think adults were able to grow up at some point and act mature and handle their differences with kindness.

    Daily laying it at the Master’s feet!
    Laura Ann

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=01312780356066934476 2 little Boys

    New follower, stopping over from FF. So glad you were able to make a positive impact on that group, sorry you and your friend were going through that at all, you would think adults were able to grow up at some point and act mature and handle their differences with kindness.

    Daily laying it at the Master’s feet!
    Laura Ann

  • http://www.middayescapades.com/ Midday Escapades

    I’m always glad to hear about any type of anti-bullying efforts.

    Thanks for linking up at Friday Follow! It’s such a grand day to meet you, so here I am…your newest blog follower. Happy weekend!

    ~ Lynn
    http://www.middayescapades.com

  • http://www.middayescapades.com Midday Escapades

    I’m always glad to hear about any type of anti-bullying efforts.

    Thanks for linking up at Friday Follow! It’s such a grand day to meet you, so here I am…your newest blog follower. Happy weekend!

    ~ Lynn
    http://www.middayescapades.com

  • http://www.growinguptownsendstyle.blogspot.com/ Chantel

    Friday Following you back! Thanks for stopping by and becoming a follower. Great post. Stories such as Phoebe’s break my heart into tiny pieces. No one should ever feel like that.

  • http://www.growinguptownsendstyle.blogspot.com Chantel

    Friday Following you back! Thanks for stopping by and becoming a follower. Great post. Stories such as Phoebe’s break my heart into tiny pieces. No one should ever feel like that.

  • http://familyofshorts.blogspot.com/ shortmama

    That really is awful…Im glad you spoke up and were able to help at least one person…disturbing and shameful
    .-= shortmama´s last blog ..Meat Packer =-.

  • http://familyofshorts.blogspot.com shortmama

    That really is awful…Im glad you spoke up and were able to help at least one person…disturbing and shameful
    .-= shortmama´s last blog ..Meat Packer =-.

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=13110924652298454074 HeatherOz

    Thanks for stoppin’ by my blog and following. Following you back!

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=13110924652298454074 HeatherOz

    Thanks for stoppin’ by my blog and following. Following you back!

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=01923733486565429056 Melissa Snow

    Visiting and following from friday follow. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’ll be coming back to catch up on all your posts:)

    Melissa

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=01923733486565429056 Melissa Snow

    Visiting and following from friday follow. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’ll be coming back to catch up on all your posts:)

    Melissa

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=18239010930115149667 Alyssa

    Happy Friday Follow I am the newest of your followers – at least for now! LOVE your blog and I will be back to visit very soon!

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=18239010930115149667 Alyssa

    Happy Friday Follow I am the newest of your followers – at least for now! LOVE your blog and I will be back to visit very soon!

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=09307653453467169416 Joe @ 20 to Life

    I absolutely agree – this is not only horrifying, it’s unacceptable. I think more people NEED TO get involved, it’s awful that we’re losing our children to something as horrid as “bullying”. I have zero tolerance for it in and around my home, no matter WHO the child is that’s doing the “bullying”.
    Great post – I hope it raises more awareness!

    (Following you back from Follow Friday!)
    Joe

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=09307653453467169416 Joe @ 20 to Life

    I absolutely agree – this is not only horrifying, it’s unacceptable. I think more people NEED TO get involved, it’s awful that we’re losing our children to something as horrid as “bullying”. I have zero tolerance for it in and around my home, no matter WHO the child is that’s doing the “bullying”.
    Great post – I hope it raises more awareness!

    (Following you back from Follow Friday!)
    Joe

  • KC

    Maria – I am not sure if the creators of the Hate page realized they created it on Martin Luther King’s Day or not but, a little inside info….I share Martin Luther King’s birthday with him and that was the creators initial motive as they gloated that they created the page on my birthday. It was supposed to be my birthday gift from them…. Thank you for helping get rid of this page. My children, family and I appretiated your help and support!!!

  • KC

    Maria – I am not sure if the creators of the Hate page realized they created it on Martin Luther King’s Day or not but, a little inside info….I share Martin Luther King’s birthday with him and that was the creators initial motive as they gloated that they created the page on my birthday. It was supposed to be my birthday gift from them…. Thank you for helping get rid of this page. My children, family and I appretiated your help and support!!!

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=16438475617886693474 Annie

    Hi, returning the favor from Friday Follow (I’m the first from google,yeah).

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=16438475617886693474 Annie

    Hi, returning the favor from Friday Follow (I’m the first from google,yeah).

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=08987519092760760640 Laurie

    Looks like you post some great stuff. Here following back from Friday Follow. Thanks http://www.guessingalltheway.com

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=08987519092760760640 Laurie

    Looks like you post some great stuff. Here following back from Friday Follow. Thanks http://www.guessingalltheway.com

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=04986191853617243184 Juliana

    WOW—this was very powerful.
    I am a new follower from FF. Please come by and follow back. I am doing some great giveaways right now. I hope you had a great weekend and Happy Monday. Juliana from A Blonde Walks Into A Blog!

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=04986191853617243184 Juliana

    WOW—this was very powerful.
    I am a new follower from FF. Please come by and follow back. I am doing some great giveaways right now. I hope you had a great weekend and Happy Monday. Juliana from A Blonde Walks Into A Blog!

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=00850835859159181099 Angela

    Following back! You are right, all bullying needs to stop. We had a bully this year in kindergarten and just ruins everything (kids or adults.)

  • http://mom-et-al.com/?fcsite=09024756162657930594&fcprofile=00850835859159181099 Angela

    Following back! You are right, all bullying needs to stop. We had a bully this year in kindergarten and just ruins everything (kids or adults.)