The Absent-Minded Parent

My daughter has put me on verbal warning. I have one week to get my act together.

Now that she is in preschool, I’ve been a getting a lot of homework assignments from Sofia’s teachers. I have to pay attention more often to the monthly newsletters that come out with special days the kids need to bring in items for show and tell, a trip to the mailbox, fieldtrip money, etc. Back in the toddler classes I used to receive multiple reminders leading up to special days that required my involvement. As my child is growing up, it would appear her teachers are expecting me to grow up as well. That one notification I received that she needs to wear black and white on a Tuesday two weeks from now; that’s the only reminder I’m going to get.

Last Friday was “Baby Picture Day”. Each child was supposed to have brought in a picture from when they were an infant. The class was then going to enjoy the morning looking at the pictures, guessing which friends they were viewing, and discussing how much their bodies have changed. I saw it on the newsletter. I even made a verbal reference to my husband that I needed to dig out a photo, grimacing to myself that most of the really good ones were on the computer. I meant to do it. Friday came and went, as did my memory of the responsibility I had for that morning.

I never heard boo from her teacher. It wasn’t until two nights ago that anything was said. Sofia approached me with, intentional or not, a well thought out guilt trip. My daughter looked me straight in the eyes with her mouth set in a perfect pout beyond her years and stated, “Mama, everyone had a picture of themselves for baby picture day. Everyone but me.”

Parent. FAIL.

All at once the memory of my “to do” came flooding back to me as I cursed under my breath. Feeling terrible that I had let her down, I stammered apologies at her and explained that I simply forgot. My next act seemed perfectly rational at the time but in hindsight has left me seriously questioning my home organizational skills. I actually asked my four year old child to tell me when I need to send something in to school for her on special class days. One might argue that I am providing my child with a solid foundation of grade school preparation, aimed at taking responsibility for her own homework. One might also argue that I’m setting a fairly poor example if I can’t remember to send a picture in on a designated day with plenty of advance notice. Is it really so difficult to post the monthly newsletter on the refrigerator, actually read it, and mark on the calendar such special days when I, the parent, am tasked with providing assistance?

Regardless she agreed to let me know, and sure enough she did it. The next day before bed she reminded me that the following day was pajama day and she needed to wear them to school. I didn’t believe her at first. I didn’t recall seeing anything about a pajama day in the newsletter. I searched through my pile of incoming mail and paperwork that is still sitting on my table just begging to be sorted, eventually found the newsletter, and marveled that she was correct. This was no surprise to her as she expressed to me in point of fact, “I was right and you were wrong.” I couldn’t argue with her there; I would have messed up again.

I need to better my game. I do not want to disappoint her again for something this simple, and I am fairly certain the next step is written warning. Knowing my child she will draw up a developmental action plan in the form of a pictogram, showing Mommy posting and reading the newsletter on the refrigerator. I expect that I will need to sign it in crayon to document my agreement to improve.