I was given several nicknames while growing up, starting at the age of three. The first one I received was Squinz, which is short for Squinzilina and is an Italian slang for a “tiny female who whines a lot”. I am happy to report that I now have a tiny female of my own, and she is more than qualified to inherit my namesake. Life is about passing on family tradition, after all.
There was Ri and Flea (incase you need help with that one, I’m short). Then there was my all time favorite, which was bestowed upon me by my cousins for my early preteen endowment: Dolly Parton Junior, a.k.a. DPJ.
It took me a little while to appreciate that one for what it was, but I did eventually get there.
In my adult life I have received a few more. A number of friends have continued to call me by my maiden name, despite the fact that I have been married for nearly 8 years. I actually love that; that sense of maintaining my origins.
And finally, Mari-er is a big one. My Massachusetts friends simply cannot help themselves and must attach the “R” sound to every word ending in a vowel.
Recently new and creative nicknames have been lacking, so I decided to give myself a few.
I therefore do decree that I shall henceforth be known as:
She Who Swaps the Toilet Paper Roll
And if it suits your fancy and you feel like changing it up a bit, you may also call me:
She Who Swaps the Paper Towel Roll
Now, I am well aware that He Who Mows the Lawn and He Who Throws the Trash might take offense to this little posting of mine. She Who Gets Up with the kids when they cry in the middle of the night, however, is quite confident that He Who Snores Right Through It will understand that this is all in jest.