This is Banana. He’s a proud member of Local Elf Union 1033. That’s the east coast chapter.
He has serviced our family for several years now and has always been a diligent elf. This year, however, we have noticed a significant drop in productivity. We were not certain if it was because of cut backs or if perhaps the Big Man has been a little too conservative with the elfin floo powder. Whatever the reason, this season Banana has taken quite a few days off from his reporting duties.
Frankly, I was having a hard time coming up with excuses for Banana. It’s been very frustrating.
Then I took a look at Facebook. I noticed that many parents were complaining that their elves had failed to make regular reports as well. Just like our elf, there are hundreds out there who have been found sitting in the same place for several days at a time.
After some uh, extensive investigating, I found out that the local elf union is having themselves a little contract dispute. Seems the dude in the red suit is holding out on our elf friends, and as a result they have been walking away from the table. In fact, they’ve been having themselves a little sit-in right inside our own living rooms. And on the nights when they actually have gone back to work, their performance has been shoddy at best.
Three days ago after no movement for two days we found Banana perched on the right side of the bay window in our kitchen. Well, the kids were just delighted! Finally he had moved!!!
The next morning he moved again, but he was found on the other side of the same window.
It’s as if he woke up late, skipped his report to Santa entirely, and just hopped over to the other side of the window before the kids could take notice.
My daughter was not having it:
“Well, THAT’S annoying.”
“What is annoying, Sweetie?”
“All he did was move from one side of the window to the other. What’s the fun in that???”
Duly noted kid, duly noted.
Well, as you can imagine I had a little talk with the elf and gave him a message for Jolly Old Saint Nick:
Get on the ball, Chief. Even Nobel Prize-winning economists would agree, you never have an elf strike at Christmas.
We have another crazy week ahead, so this will be the last post before the holiday weekend. From our family to yours, have a wonderful, safe, healthy, and very merry Christmas!